Friday, April 10, 2009

Movie Review: Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
Rated PG-13
1 Slime
Copyright New Line Cinema 1997

THE CHARACTERS

Liu Kang: Robin Kang! He was the winner of Mortal Kombat in the last movie and is in love with Kitana, which is odd since I don’t believe they have had enough time to form such a bond.

Kitana: Sindel is her mother, she is in love Liu, and she has some sort of power to close the portal to Out World.

Sonya Blade: Whoever is playing, you are so not Sonya! She is seeking revenge throughout the movie since Khan killed Johnny.

Jax: He uses these strange metal arm things to give him a boost in his fighting. He has worked with Sonya in the past. He and Liu are the only amusing characters in this movie.

Raiden: James Remar! His brother, Shao Kahn, is trying to destroy the world by combining Earth with Outworld, while Shinnok, Raiden’s dad, is helping Kahn in this deed. Raiden sure has a messed up family. He gets killed later on, but is resurrected. Dead people should stay dead, like with Scorpion for example!

Sindel: She is Kitana’s mother, which is odd since she looks to be about the same age as Kitana. She is under the spell of Kahn after he turns her back to life, but she goes back to normal at the end of the film.

Shao Kahn: Brian Thompson! Wears a mask that looks like Deatheaters Mask from Harry Potter. He is the emperor of Outworld and is the brother of Raiden. He likes making big loud speeches. He is killed in the end of the movie when some kind of dragon rips his way out of him.

Shinnok: He’s apparently Raiden’s father, but like the case with Sindel and Kitana, he looks to be about the same age as Raiden. He is also Shao Kahn’s father as well. He is turned into a cube of some sorts after Khan is defeated.

Jade: I can’t really say much about her, she just has no personality or characteristics worth talking about, and outside of the factor she betrays the good guys after helping them. Kahn feeds her to this dragon like monster.

Sub-Zero: Hmm…you thought he was killed in the first movie? Actually that was Sub-Zero’s older brother who also happens to be called Sub-Zero. This is complicated. He vanishes into the movie.

Scorpion: Again, I thought he killed in the first movie. Oh well, I don’t bring logic into movies like this. He kidnaps Kitana and disappears from the movie after that. Must have fallen into a black hole or something.

Nightwolf: He really isn’t that much of help and disappears like Scorpion and Sub-Zero did.

Johnny Cage: Less than 10 minutes in and he gets killed. So much for having a big part in the movie unlike the last one.

LESSONS LEARNED
+ People from the other worlds wear weird clothing.
+ Martial Artists, Elder Gods, and ninjas can perform Matrix like moves.
+ Velospheres, which look like Zorbs, can take all over the world.
+ Robots have dreads.
+ Robot magically appears in a cloud of smoke.
+ Ninjas use police batons.
+ People don’t hold grudges when you kill their family members.
+ Never mess up even once when working with an evil dictator from hell.
+ You can only ask the Elder Gods three questions.
+ The fate of the universe is always settled in Mortal Kombat.

STUFF TO WATCH FOR
0 min – Whoa! That woke me up!
2 min – You’re not Sonya, you’re not Raiden, and you’re not Johnny, get off the movie set!
6 min –Talk about pulling a Friday the 13 Part 2, minus Jason.
8 min – RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A STONE WALL!10 min – Very fast jump cut!
17 min – Doesn’t that guy from The Incredibles do something like that?
19 min – That wasn’t very mature of you.
22 min – RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A GLASS WINDOWS.
24 min – Another reminder of The Drifting Classroom for me.
25 min – RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A FAKE CEMENT WALL!
33 min – He’s going all Hulk!
46 min – So this is where the Last Crusade was filmed!
49 min – RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A TON OF TEMPLES!
54 min – I see where the stuntmen filled in for Raiden.
57 min – Why didn’t you tell him it was a trap earlier?!!
75 min – Neck snaps seem to be a very popular fatality.
76 min – Ok seriously! How can I take this seriously?!
80 min – Seriously, what just happened?

NOTABLE QUOTES
Nightwolf: Cool, huh? It's my Animality.

Jax: If your Father's an Elder God, what does that make Kahn?
Raiden: Kahn is my brother.

Scorpion: Suckers!

Kitana: Mother! You're alive!
Sindel: Too bad *you*... will DIE!

THE PLOT

From what I have read, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation has C grade special effects and most of the actors and actresses from the first movie didn’t come back to reprise there original roles. That’s never a good sign in the movie world. After doing an ok job with the first movie, I wonder how much of a mess they made with this movie. I am scared to watch this… but I will…

The movie opens where I gather the last movie ended. Some weird looking people on fire rain down on Liu Kang’s home and start attacking people. Liu, Kitana, Sonya Blade, Raiden and Johnny Cage watch in awe or something when some guy called Shao Kahn shows up and declares he and his army of pajama wearing ninja and sideshow rejects from heck will destroy the world in six days. Oh yeah, he also has Kitana’s mother on his side who was dead apparently.

Anyways, Kahn kills Johnny and the rest are forced to retreat. Raiden explains to the team once they are safe that Kahn is trying to emerge their world with Outworld. He also explains to Kitana, who is confused about why he mother is still alive (Personally, I’m just confused about what is happening in general), that Kahn has resurrected his mother for some reason that is completely beyond me. Seriously, I know he telling why everything is happening, but this is just going over my head!! Anyways, from what I gathered, they need to stop Kahn’s evil plan and somehow save Kitana’s mother, who is apparently the key to everything.

They come up with a plan on how to face this problem. Sonya will go get her partner Jax, Liu and Kitana will seek help from a person called Nightwolf, and Raiden will go meet with the Elder Gods about why Kahn is allowed to do all of these things. While this happening we move to a building obviously made of clay, I mean Shao Kahn’s base. There, we meet Shinnok, Shao Khan’s father, who has come to see how the plan is working. It’s all pointless.

Anyways, when Kitana and Liu arrive at this new destination, they are attacked by a robot and a couple of ninjas. The ninjas are easily defeated, but the robot proves to be a challenge, though Sub-Zero shows up and saves them. He wants to help them because they can stop Shao Kahn. Unfortunately, Scorpion shows up and kidnaps Kitana.

Next up, Sonya meets up with Jax after he went through some kind of upgrade. Then, this yellow robot shows up with some more ninjas. They crush them all and escape as a green screen explosion goes off in the background. Back at Kahn’s base, we see his generals talking and fighting each other, nothing important so I’ll move on. We now come to Liu who is roaming the desert for Nightwolf and then he is attacked by the guy himself. He offers him up a way to help him gain a new power by knocking him out… why don’t you watch the film if you don’t believe me?!

So, Liu has a couple of flashbacks from the previous movie and goes sort of Hulk before waking up back in the desert. As soon as he wakes up, he is confronted by a lady called Jade, who tries to seduce him; she pretty good at it. He rejects her advances and she beats him up. Some people just can’t take no for answer. He beats her and decides to help him, so they decide to go to the Elder God’s Temple to meet up with everyone.

Sonya and Jax are now on the move to the temple as well. Then Sonya gets attacked by this weird lady and they both fight it out in the mud. It’s not that exciting as you would think. We cut to Raiden who is talking with some weird spirits about how Shao Kahn is allowed to be able to do everything he is doing. Of course, they give no good help.

The rest of the team met up with Raiden, who opens up a portal to Outworld and they escape just as Sindel and Shao Kahn destroy the area. From there, the team heads towards Shao Kahn’s temple, but are attacked Sindel. Villains sure get around quickly, don’t they? Raiden ends up taking out a bunch of ninjas; Jax, Sonya, and Jade defeat Sindel (Off screen so we don’t get to see how it happened); and Liu rescues Kitana, while also killing off one of Kahn’s generals.

Raiden says that only Kitana’s love can break the spell over Sindel, but as you can imagine, that doesn’t work and Sindel escapes. Also, we find out Jade is a villain, she escapes, and we also learn that Raiden and Kahn are brothers, so go figure! Anyways, everyone then goes to confront Shao Kahn, Shinnok, Sindel, and Kahn’s generals head on, though Raiden backs down because he doesn’t believe he can help.

Though, at the very last second, Raiden decides confront them. As you would imagine, this isn’t good and Raiden gets killed. So now, everyone starts the fight with Sonya and Jax fighting the generals, Kitana fighting Sindel, and Liu taking on Kahn. Jax, Sonya, and Kitana defeat their opponents, but Liu is having a hard time defeating Khan. Suddenly, he turns into this clay-animated monster and Khan does the same thing. As you can imagine, this is completely crazy, even for this movie.

They turn back to normal and then these other Elder Gods show up to tell them the only way to settle this is in Mortal Kombat. Liu and Kahn go at it again and Liu finally defeats him! Then Kahn dies and Shinnok is turned into a cube. The world turns back to normal, Sindel is broken from the spell she was under, Raiden is brought back to life, Liu and Kitana kiss, and everything is okay again. Movie’s over, thank God!

Now this movie was just… ugh. As expected, the special effects weren’t all that special and done with horrible CGI. The fight scenes were ok, but some parts look that they were fighting on air or were full of the Matrix. The acting was subpar, with only the hero characters, besides Raiden, doing an ok job. The plot was weird and complicated to understand, so maybe I should have watched the first movie right before I watched this one. The biggest problem is that while the movie has a plot, there really isn’t much substance to this film. Most of the film is completely filled to the brim with fighting. Either way, this movie is bad, but the music was good and like I said, some of the fight scenes were ok. Stick with watching the first movie, avoid this one, and hope that the third movie will be better when it is made.

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