Sunday, May 3, 2009

Movie Review: Monkeybone

Monkeybone
Rated PG-13
1 Slime
Copyright 20th Century Fox 2001

THE CHARACTERS

Stu Miley: Brendan Fraser! A cartoonist who created Monkeybone and ends up in a coma after a certain accident. Then in his coma, Monkeybone steals his body and he has to try to get it back so he can propose to Julie to marry him. They do in the end of the film.

Monkeybone: John Turturro! Ah… hmm… he’s hard to describe in general, but to sum it all up, he is clay animated monkey who is high on speed. He steals Stu’s body so he can spread nightmare increasing drugs through farting monkey dolls. In the end, he is put inside of Stu’s head where he won’t be able to do anyone harm.

Julie McElroy: Bridget Fonda! Stu’s girlfriend and former doctor, who helped him overcome his insomnia. She is overly concern about Stu and his strange activities when he wakes up from his coma. Why wouldn’t she be? A perverted monkey took over his body. She and Stu end up getting engaged in the end.

Death: Whoopi Goldberg! She likes her job a bit too much and her head explodes if she is angered too much. She has a giant robot that she rides in whenever she goes to Downtown.

Hypnos: The God of Sleep: He looks the black version of Mr. Tumnus from the Chronicles of Narina, only not as interesting. He likes to throw pajama parties that involves weirdoes watching nightmares on a bubble screen.

Miss Kitty: Rose McGowan! This has to be the first time a cat girl was seen in a movie outside of Japan. She has the hots for Stu and I think it Stu might like her somewhat. She helps him escape from Downtown.

Herb: Dave Foley! He is Stu’s agent who seems to think that all Stu wants is fame and money.

Kimmy Miley: Megan Mullaly! Isn’t she that girl from Will & Grace? She seems that she can’t wait to pull the plug on him.

LESSONS LEARNED
+ Snakes keep Cuban cigar up their throat.
+ The way to the realm of the dead is on a mine cart ride.
+ You’re nightmares are viewed on TV screens in the underworld.
+ You need an exit pass to wake up from a coma.
+ Death’s headquarters plays mambo music.
+ There is a chemical formula to intensify one’s nightmares.
+ Dog nightmares involve cats with hedge clippers.

STUFF TO WATCH FOR
3 min – I feel nauseated, can’t imagine why.
9 min – Darn you, stupid inflatable monkey raft! Never got to say that before.
12 min – So this is where Joe Camel went.
14 min – Oh… my… God!
20 min – A cat-girl is seducing that guy. Never get to see this in a movie.
37 min – What’s going on?
45 min – This is… not funny.
59 min – This is downright disturbing in more ways than one.
70 min – I am very disturbed!!
82 min – RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST FLOOR BOARDS!

NOTABLE QUOTES
Stu Miley: Excuse me kitty. I'll be right back after I choke my monkey!

Doctor: Wait! We are doctors. We won't hurt you; we only want your organs!

Monkeybone: Ladies and Gentlemen, forget about the naked man with the purple face.

THE PLOT

Well for the first time, someone actually requested me to do a review on a movie. The movie in title is this little crazy head trip, Monkeybone. I have some doubts about watching this movie in particular, since some of the elements of the movie have been borrowed or stolen (You make the call) from Cool World. It is never a good sign when a film has elements from a crappy movie. Either way, I’m going watching this and I hope I won’t suffer because of it.

The movie opens up with Stu and Julie attending the premiere of Monkeybone: The Animated Series. Stu is cartoonist who created Monkeybone and is now set to have the comic he created made into animated series. He does not seem to enjoy the publicity, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave early. On their way out, they get into a car crash in the most absurd way you would ever have seen. It’s more fitting of a way that a clown would get into a crash. Anyways, Stu is knocked into a coma and somehow ends up riding a mine cart.

The cart drops him off in Downtown, the halfway point between Life and Death. Downtown is a combination of Cool World, the insanity of Raggedy Ann and Andy: A Musical Adventure, and the left over costumes from about every b-movie ever made. While exploring this literal hellhole, Stu meets Monkeybone.

Monkeybone is driving him crazy, while he waits to leave Downtown and he is upset that he hasn’t got an exit pass yet, which is suppose to be able to take him out of Downtown and out of his coma in general. He then ends up getting an invite to come to Hypnos’, the God of Sleep, private hellish dance club party. Hypnos is said to be only person who can possibly try to get him out of his coma. Hypnos says he can’t help him, but he recommends trying to steal an exit pass from Death. Oh yeah, because stealing from Death is always a great idea.

Stu sneaks into Death’s fortress in a disguise and of course gets figured out. He does manage to escape with an exit pass, but Monkeybone steals it away and escapes into the real world. He ends up in Stu’s real body and now Stu is in stuck inside Downtown. The reason for this is because Julie, being a sleep doctor, made a drug that increases the level of horror in a person’s nightmare. Since all demons and monsters in Downtown like to watch people’s nightmares, they want this drug to be spread around to everyone so the demons can get more entertaining nightmares to watch. Monkeybone is being sent to obtain the drug under Hypnos’ command. I feel silly just describing this movie.

Monkeybone is having the time of his life in the real world and is planning to use the nightmare chemical in combination with a toy line of Monkeybone stuff dolls. Once the stuff is inside the stuff dolls, it will infect everybody who comes in contact with it and give them horrible nightmares. Well it is a tad above the villain’s plan from DOA, so I can’t complain… well I can and I will. I hate this plan!

In Downtown, Stu has been locked up with a bunch of other people, like Stephen King, Edgar Allen Poe, and Jack the Ripper. Why? Because the movie wills it, I suppose. Miss Kitty, a cat girl waitress, decides to free him. He then goes to plead to Death to give him an hour to be able to stop Monkeybone and be able to confess his feelings to the girl he loves. Death grants him his wish and he ends up taking an organ donor’s body. He uses the body to get to a party where Monkeybone plans to release all the nightmare chemicals. Also, the organ donor doctors are chasing after him since they want his organs. Bizarre? Very bizarre!

Stu arrives on the scene and confronts Monkeybone, not before he asks her to marry him. Monkeybone makes a break for it and Stu chases after him. They then end up on one of those parade balloons and have a… I really can’t explain it. This is just too weird for me! Anyways, they both end up dead again and back in Downtown. Death arrives in Downtown and puts Monkeybone back inside his head, where he can’t do anymore harm. Death, also as a bonus, sends Stu back home since she like him and would prefer to take the guys who made South Park. So, Stu comes home and gets married with Julie.

Man, what a weird movie. This isn’t Raggedy Ann weird; this is a whole new category of weird, Monkeybone weird! While this movie was surely creative, it just wasn’t really that entertaining or funny. Sure, I did have an occasional laugh or smile, but being a comedy, this movie really lacks in that department. Creatively really isn’t enough to save this bomb.

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