Ursula: Theodore’s wife. Nothing else is important about her. Killed by Albert.
Theodore: Albert’s financial backer and someone of little importance. Shot by his wife.
Forrester: An Interpol agent who provides squat to this film. Stabbed to death by natives.
Albert Muller: Marc Lawrence! An ex-mercenary turn mad scientist who plans on conquering the world using radio transmitters, starting first with gorillas. Killed off screen by said gorillas.
+ Blood and sweat look the same.
+ Inside of a gorilla is red paint.
+ Poaching is consider hunting unusual game.
+ Leopard and lion clubs play together.
+ Gorillas move quickly and quietly.
+ Gorillas walk on two feet the majority of the time.
+ A dead body will not decompose or attract wildlife for several days in Africa.
+ Shotguns can be use as sniper rifles.
+ A guy can take a shot to the gut from a shotgun and show no signs of injury.
STUFF TO WATCH FOR
2 min – Sounds like ghosts are singing.
6 min – Ah… what’s going on?
12 min – Funky.
20 min – Countryside, Savanna, countryside, and Savanna again!
29 min – Watch out! Guys in a gorilla costumes!
38 min – Is that John Wayne!?
52 min – Am I missing something here? Where did those natives come from?
62 min – I don’t know what’s going on.
64 min – Sir that only works if you implant your radios in them.
75 min – How do they even know each other?
80 min – I wish things made sense.
81 min – RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST A THINGAMABOB!
The film begins with mercenaries attacking a random jeep carrying 300,000 bucks. I don’t know why the guys in the jeep were carrying that much loot around in the middle of nowhere and in such an unprotected vehicle. A huge truck might have been more suitable. So, one of the guys shoots the other two involved in the robbery and takes off with the cash.
Burt follows Turk outside the place, where he is ambushed by a couple of goons. He fights them all off, shrugs it off, and then plans on joining his friends on a poaching expedition. Are you kidding me? The guys attacked you with machetes and planned to behead you. Aren’t you even worried that Turk will attack you again?
The next day, our hunting expedition drives around the Savanna, looking at lots of stock footage, and arrives at an area to hunt. They plan on hunting… something; the dialogue wasn’t clear enough to understand. So the group wanders around for a while, doing nothing and shooting at any poor leopard that crosses their path for a good 7 minutes. Where are these brainwashed gorillas?
Here they are! A bunch of gorillas show up and kidnap Diana, the female hunter in the group. The gorillas scare away the hunters and Turk shows up to deliver a message to Robert, Diana’s brother. He has to do something in order to get her back safely. Again, the sound craps out and I can’t hear a single thing of his evil demands.
The film sluggishly continues forward and Burt and jungle lady meet once more. Burt decides to call her Eva and tries communicating with her. He gets somewhere with her when he asks her about Diana and if Eva has seen where she has been taken to.
With this, it sounds like we finally have a complete story and we now understand where these gorillas fit into all of this. However, we got less than 20 minutes left in the film and basically I think we could have made this revelation a bit earlier if the film could have got rid of all the Discovery Channel footage.
Suddenly, Theodore, Diana’s father, shows up and holds Albert at gunpoint. Where the hell did he come from!? The guy holds the mad scientist at gunpoint, angry about him locking up his daughter and killing his son. Theodore has him release his daughter, but then he is shot by his wife, Ursula, who is leaving him for Albert. Makes no sense, but let’s just run with it.
Diana tells him to shoot Albert’s radio transmitter thingy to stop the ape mind control and he does so; with a shotgun, 20 feet away from the thing, while wrestling with two gorillas at the time, and only leaving one hole in the machine. Right…
The gorillas then go attack and kill Albert after being free from his control. Strange though, whatever happened to his shotgun he was holding just before they attacked him? He should have been able to defend himself then. Whatever, film closes out with Burt and Diana leaving in a motorboat (Don’t ask me where it and the river itself magically spawned from) for civilization, while Eva watches them go.
The film is just unremarkable in every sense of the word. There is basically no plot for the majority of the film and almost nothing happens as well. There’s just a lot of stock footage and padding instead. Also, editing, sound, and picture quality leave something to be desired.